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Saturday, December 30, 2006 @ 10:08 PM

a swollen red eye. a missed soccer match. but he stil make an effort to bring the sickly me to the doc in the morning. totally appreciates it. thanks dear.

:)

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Friday, December 29, 2006 @ 2:08 PM

woke up to a bad throat n bad tum.. O.-

all credits to the 10 glasses of wine yest. bestie was drunk at the end of the night. silly gal. hug*
partying at a mansion was a first in my life, partying with dear and his friends who are my bestie's dear's good friends was a second first. basically.. it was our bf's frens party and we're jus tagging along. which make it all the more fun at the end of dae.

s'pore is small.

i love how he ruffled thru his hair when he's nervous. i love how his face turns red after the wine. i love how he ^$%!&(* when playing ps.

oki mushy. bleah

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Thursday, December 28, 2006 @ 12:45 AM

i like how he piggy back me so my feet wouldnt get wet. im beginnin to like the rain.

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Tuesday, December 26, 2006 @ 12:40 AM

finally found this film for dear for xmas. he's been findin it for ages!
n indeed, my boy's taste is always good.. bleah.

::Lover's Concerto::
this show really leaves an impression in me after catching it.. thou its like the usual sad teary korean movie, it has a nice beautiful twist to friendship n love. it tells a story of intertwined friendship n love between two best friends and a boy..how 3 of them come to develop a special friendship. every scenes are picture perfect. love the way everything is filmed. love the way the storyline is plotted. n more so as i watched it with my boy.

(:

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Monday, December 25, 2006 @ 3:37 PM

n so he said 'don't leave.. dont leave me..'

merry xmas ppl (:

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Saturday, December 23, 2006 @ 2:34 AM

feeling feverish all of a sudden. i soo should have been in bed resting now. guess a short entry wouldnt kill. bleah!

jus put down the phone with my boy.
didnt expect him to call me this late after his guys' night out. basked in sweetness now. was jus typing my good night msg for him half way when my phone rang. such coincidence. guess love says it all. :))

alritey, i'l b good n go back to hug my bolster now. think im having lack-of-rest syndrome. my complexion is so so horrid. i soo don wan a oh-so-feeling-sick-n-ugly-n-crowded-noisy xmas. boo

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Friday, December 22, 2006 @ 3:58 AM

i bet bash was a success. had fun time with roger n lotte n gang.. took lotsa pics cos we realized we nvr take pics tgr for the past 3 yrs! i merlioned once again. n i wish dear was by my side. it've been two daes since i last saw him! pout* well.. shall upload pics when im freeee.....

oh yes!
im crazily angry with friendster. dono wad the hell is wrong with it. all my testimonials by dear were deleted.. specifically those by dear onli. very wad the hell. he said he didnt delete those. n neither do i. which is damn weird. so its either someone hack into his account or mine! f up! why will anyone do that! but anw that person will b cursed. whoever he/she is. $*@^$P(#!* sulk

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Thursday, December 21, 2006 @ 2:17 AM

per·turb Pronunciation (pr-tûrb)tr.v. per·turbed, per·turb·ing, per·turbs
1. To disturb greatly; make uneasy or anxious.
2. To throw into great confusion.

yes. i am truly perturbed. perturbed by her poetic solemn smses. perturbed by her taggy. perturbed by the testi. perturbed by his past that keeps haunting me.

seriously, i thought i can live in peace.but love always find its way to test us. well, i guess if love is reali that simple, i doubt ppl will learn to treasure love that much aftall. make sense doesnt it.

it've only been a sweet (goin-to) 4 weeks, n so so many obstacles arise between us. n dear doesnt seem tired of overcoming all for me.. the stuff i chance doesnt make me feel any better, which once again awoken up my low self esteem n low self confidence.. n yet, i continue to believe.. believe in him, believe in us, believe in the four-letter word called Love.

to appear undisturbed is denial to thy self n to him. but i know it's time for me to shelf that part of emotion in me and immerse myself in the festive season with dear. i know i can do it. i must.


my xmas wish for 2006 is simple. i just wan a fresh clean 2007 with my love. is it that difficult

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006 @ 2:03 AM

it've been awhile since any movie touches my heart, leaving me fully satisfied..well, The Holiday jus did it. i found traits of my attitude n perception towards love in both Amanda(Diaz) n Iris (Winslet)..n it kinda provoked me to relate to them almost totali thru out the movie.. the characters seem so real. The movie showed manys out there that we are not alone having such love problems (guess it applies to gals actuali).. across the globe, regardless of race.. we are all bonded by a universal language call Love. The Holiday is way better den Love Actually or Something's gotta give.. it's more den jus a season feel good movie.. guess u havta watch it yourself to know wad i mean! and the essence of the movie is accentuated with dear's company.. :)

we bought rings todae! mind u.. not couple rings.. jus some rings we both fancy in the same shop n decided to pay for each other.. bleah.. c:

overall, a contended rainy dae!

jus couldnt understand how the cloud can store so much water.. a qn pop by gina n got me thinkin.. haha

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Monday, December 18, 2006 @ 2:36 AM

jus got back frm jess's surprised bdae party by her bf.. sweet on chong's part.. but wasnt enjoyable for me actuali cos i felt kinda weird, not knowing most of her friends and feeling so distant frm an old fren. that's the feeling i hated most. but i guess i shd b contended that i met up with them.

tell me tell me..
how shd one feel when u see ur partner's frenster Who I Want to Meet column change to 'my (mind u, is my n not any) plainjane', when u know u wasnt the plainjane he refers to. n he told ya he put it 'just for fun'.. such small incident affects me so much it got me real scare.. pout*

in the end, guess the onli explainable answer all boils down to my insecurity. many a times, the assurance i got was contradicted by the many small actions. i feel so unsure..so lost..so confused. why cant i take things more lightly.
im so afraid to commit so deep. why cant love just b simple.

i cant sleep.


@ 2:34 AM

15 Dec 2006
i saw 3 shooting stars.


Friday, December 15, 2006 @ 1:20 AM

12 Dec 06 [Tue]
wendy's flyin off to spend xmas n new yr with bf!! so sweeet!! met up with her n peilian before she flies off.. was shoppin ard n i saw hoops n yoyo in singapore!! so touched i cried.. heh.. will load pic up once i got back moi lappie.. hope wendy sweetie will hav a nice time in US! envy envy!

13 Dec 06 [Wed]
robin's back frm indo a few daes ago.. suprised to hear frm him frm a local number.. it'd been.. 2 yrs.. since we last met. sighz. he came back for some urgent family matters. met up with him for brunch todae at tpy crystal jade. makes me feel so helpless seeing a fren so vexed and all.. but im kinda glad that hes feeling a lil better with my companion. i guess that's the least i can do for an old friend. i pray things will be better for him soon..

went phu phu with dear again.. guess its pretty much a moody dae for both of us and juz chilling out immersing ourselves in the music.. anw, hes moi favourite dance partner =))

learning to love u, made me lost the way to love myself
the sweetness i felt, is so intensed, it seems unreal
frankness u gave, is wishes come true, yet too much to handle
i wish upon the stars and feet to the ground
that your love direct me back to where my heart belongs


Monday, December 11, 2006 @ 1:21 AM

i wish Whatever will not affect us.. pls giv me strength thru tis..... althou i find myself gettin weaker n weaker each dae.. i reali wan bestie to faster come back n giv me a tight tight hug.

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Thursday, December 07, 2006 @ 11:18 PM

blissfulness, happiness and contentment for the past 25.50 hrs..... never tot phu phu can be so enjoyable with dear, n with dear onli.. :)) Love, comes so soon, yet so strong n sincere.. the barriers i built come crumbling down..

11 days without bestie.. 11 daes!! bestie, when u returned.. the stuff goin on in our lives must remain the same or even better.. must! :)) im soo gona missed her! we both realized for the past 3 years.. we were in contact pratically everydae! (longest w/o talkin on msn/sms is like.. 2daes!) my sweet bestie dropped me a msg 5 hrs aft she reached SH.. so coool! she deserves this break!

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Monday, December 04, 2006 @ 12:49 AM

2 Dec 2006

fattie actuali rem its our one wk n surprised me with ben & jerry's ice cream!! which melted by the time i reached cos im late (as usual..bleah).. Turkish dinner at far east.. n chilled out at Timbre.. i love the place! the band is good! n eic was there to support the band too!
there was a moment when he asked me ' the couple beside us aint tokin.. so sad.. will we become lidat one dae'.. that reali makes me so scare.. :(( how long will this passion last..

nonetheless, its yet another sweet romantic nite spent with dear.. everything's too good to be truee..its a connection i nvr felt with anyone in my whole life..

thou ive said it before, n u may not read this, but i wana say it again.. thanks for appearing in my life baby..

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Saturday, December 02, 2006 @ 3:54 AM

im not willing to succumb to past's setbacks anymore.

i used to be generous and giving in to the other parties concerned..all too many times.. but i guess love is selfish afterall. the effort he put in for us is giving me the strength to believe and persevere on.. mayb, jus mayb i reali shdnt b pessimistic anymore.. a leap of faith is all it takes..

"light up, light up, as if you have a choice"

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Friday, December 01, 2006 @ 3:08 AM

27 Nov 2006

braces on. and its gona b for 2 yrs.. lavender is my first colour.. pain pain..

30 Nov 2006

yet another happy dae.. but deep inside me im stil so insecure and scare.. everythin's so sweet.. its so unreal.. a poem i gotten frm him melts my heart away.. his deep gaze seems so dear, yet so far.. and my heart ache everytime i try to put myself in his shoe.. cos deep inside.. i noe he'l nvr be okay so soon.. juz like how i need to find the strength to get thru this.. i wish we'l be real okay soon..


..Jammism..

30 June 1984.
sensitive cancerian. pessimistic. frank. embracing this superficial world in my true self

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