Saturday, November 04, 2006 @ 7:15 AM
i seriously think moi life is gone.
moi parents, esp moi dad is always finding faults at me. scolding vulgarities thats so disgustin.
moi friends.
(1) the person who i feel closest to for a long while seems to be losing patient with me and vice versa. most advise/comments i made, or complaints i said, or advise i seek. are often rebutted. whether or not the word i used are wrong, or the tings i said r did not place myself in the other ppl shoes. every single word i used r often singled out. misunderstood. word play. and i havta play back.. while all i need is juz for u to listen to me too. to actuali tink abt how i feel too if u were me. hav anyone actually place themselves in MY shoe before making any move or comment too? it makes me damn exhausted. on top of moi dad who loves findin faults with everythin. im goin crazy. the amt of tears i shed for this frenship seems to b useless. over and over again things repeat. im treated differently frm others, n in a gd n bad way. we both cherish this frenship too much n it came to a bottleneck.
(2) theres a voice that can calm me down almost immediately. but its wrg for me to even contact him. but i duno why, aft all these mths, aft so many disappointments, n many harsh words, im stil missing this presence. i badly dying want to get out, but the more u wan, ur heart becomes weaker. on top of moi bad rs with dad, n the many misunderstandin with the most cherished friend, i turned to him n yet add on to moi disappointment n sadness. but i have no self control AT ALL
i wish i can stop tearin. im goin into hermit mode
