Saturday, September 30, 2006 @ 3:37 AM

i read thru msn history right from the day he's on my msn.. til the very end. and i cant help, but feel tinge of sadness and disappointments all over again. i think im mad. i didnt expect me to think of calling him when i was walking home alone, i didnt expect to think of him when i got a new movie to watch. im controlling my fingers not to dial that 8 digits in my mind. deleting the number doesnt help at all. someone should jus faster arrive on a broom and sweep me off my feet pls.

if only that someone will show some minimum actions aft all these years.. ... =.=

Friday, September 29, 2006 @ 1:11 PM

[27 Sep Wed]
Ken's bdae.. went down to Shin to celebrate his bdae before heading down to phu. we opened 2 bots. was damn high when i reached phu..heh. had a great time with jos n sim frens, well cos jac n butt were literally sticking tgr! lol. vomitted after roger's flaming thou..fwah~ why do i always vomit infront of his gang of friends! ugly ugly. was home at 5am. think it'd been damn long since im home that late.. n of cos.. my door's already locked! luckili i have my old method heh heh..

[28 Sep Thur]
work work work at Hougang todae cos Boon Keng's branch under renov. and as ive been complaining for wks about BK becoming a kiosk and outdoor.. my supervisor told me yest it will stil be a shop for time-being.. and hopefully air conditioned again! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! save me the torture!
met hanxiang to catch Stay Alive. Samaire Armstrong is hot hot hot!!! i mean, til now.. i stil love her anna role in OC.. well the show's storyline not that bad.. but the horror scene kinda become predictable after a few death. nice night out.

i wan to tan tan tan.. but im so laaaazzy..
bankai!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 @ 12:53 AM

"A man unknowingly hurts his partner by speaking in an uncaring manner and then goes on to explain why she should not be upset. He mistakenly assumes she is resisting the content of his point of view, when really his unloving delivery is what upsets her. Because he does not understand her reaction, he focuses more on explaining the merit of what he is saying instead of correcting the way he is saying it...
He has no idea that he is starting an argument; he thinks she is arguing with him. He defends his point of view while she defends herself from his sharpened expressions, which are hurtful to her...
When a man neglects to honour a woman's hurt feelings he invalidates them and increases her hurt. It is hard for him to understand her hurt because he is not as vulnerable to uncaring comments and tones. Consequently, a man may not even realise how much he is hurting his partner and thus provoking her resistance."

came upon this somewhere.. how true..

if only we could turn back time.. .. n make that love stronger..
whenever i try to grasp hold of him.. i lost it.. n now i can only feel air.. ...

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 @ 12:07 AM

time heals. time heals time heals. stone told me that. 'it sounded stupid, but time heals.' can u believe ur ex telling u that? can time heals within 3.5 wks? apparelly, he succeeded.

i thought i can. but .. i duno whats wrong with me. but tonight's gona b the last night i shed that pail of salty water over my bedsheet.

i start to hate myself again. when will i learn

Sunday, September 24, 2006 @ 1:23 AM

was sipping wine awhile ago.. and the thoughts that came to my mind.. are memories of us drinkin left overs white wine at his house. that red piece of pumping shit ache all over again.

'im much beta den her..','i'd cherish her for 3 yrs..'.. but.. where do i stand.. mayb i dont even exist. mayb i hallucinate everythin.. mayb im reali crazy..

one of the moody clueless night

Saturday, September 23, 2006 @ 1:18 AM

i have low self confidence. this is somethin i must overcome.

i rem how i do not have confidence abt myself compare to his ex in my previous rs and my ex was outrage at me for havin no confidence in myself. i cant help it. guys i met mostly love oogling at how big every other gal's boobs was, how tall how slim how pretty blablabla.. i feel like an alien. haha

booz =\

Wednesday, September 20, 2006 @ 1:13 AM

another weird nite. i duno why i got into a weird fuss aft finding out she heard of the breakup. "but she has no feeling for him le"..
i seriously tot im so over everything. hearing the laughters and seeing the long awaited smile from within.. but i dun understand why i reacted in the weird way. guess it juz makes one feel helpless why the other party had long jumped out of the ship, while im stil standing around searching for something to cling on. i know i must learn to look forward. and i know i can.. =))

ha. yada yada yada yada yada.. im stil a crazy gal

Monday, September 18, 2006 @ 1:13 AM

::15 Sep 2006:: Fri
Last dae temping in Nets. lovely memories. Supervisor bought me a baby piglet bolster and my close colleagues gave me a lovely decorated notebook and pens, with their 'last words' for cry baby me. heh.. went ktv. shall upload the pics when i gotten them frm mr hee.

::16 Sep 2006:: Sat
work work and more work at Cinenow. hanged out with zg and friends aft work. and zg asked bucky out too. its like.. hmm..3 yrs since i last saw or tok to buck, even thou all these while this person is on my msn parking! amazingly, he has fantastic memory! we were catching up and he rem my bdae, my jc, my previous job (oki, i mean, basically all my frens noe i hubbed previously la..haha) bla bla bla. jaw drop. nice knowing a sincere friend!
seeing zg so down over her..makes me feel sad n helpless.. and i realize my friends might juz b as helpless too when they see me being down.. so.. i'l buck up! althou im not in my study mode yet.. ha

::17 Sep 2006:: Sun
slacked home whole dae before gettin my arse out of hse to meet dav n ken for dinner, and shoppin at marina with their imf delegate priviledge pass, which entitle them to discounts from several shops.. shopping makes me happy!

the whole world is saying ive gained weight when i feel ive lost weight..wth!!! i think i shd juz stop eating..occupied wkend. contended!

Sunday, September 17, 2006 @ 6:26 PM

if every obstacle have to be overcomed first then nothing would be started

Thursday, September 14, 2006 @ 11:14 PM

i am a superwoman. i work 2 jobs, i study full time, i read comics, i watch tv, i met up with friends, i stil find time online. but im not anyone's superwoman as what cao ge sang. i am alone. n im yet not satisfied with my busy life. something is missing.

to many, rs is not a big part of life. but to someone who is dependent on others and lack of family warmth like me, i need a heart to embrace me for who i am.

Sunday, September 10, 2006 @ 10:58 PM

i read the email again and again and again, everytime i online. i read the mail i received frm him, and the mail i replied. i read and read.. until my heart is so numbed.. it has no feeling.

i stil contact..and stil.. everything is one-sided. stupid.haha.

recalling:: he has good- natured temper. he's hardworking. he's patient. and i'd caused him to lose every bit of his good traits. am i a monster

Saturday, September 09, 2006 @ 3:27 AM

yet another lovely dae spent with colleagues. rushed down to meet them aft dvd work.. (the boon keng branch air con is spoilt! as warm as suana.. and the store is becoming a kiosk..!@$^*$%@^*) caught the movie the Devil wears Prada.. two thumbs up!! had yet another chatting session at coffeeplace.. lub them so much for accompanyin me pathetic temp staff thru my down period.. ha.

nets family dae @ the zoo tmr.. looking forward for new memories.. :))

Monday, September 04, 2006 @ 11:21 PM

i'l be oki de..! i must.. friends, u all just be by my side k, pls. i shall load some new pic to make me seem happy.. self denial, yea..thats me.

at jo's party(awhile ago), im crowned miss vintage!.. above is me with beloved honey shijia.

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me with my lovely nets colleagues who filled my dull working daes with laughter!

i wana kill my tummy and look fab again..!! this is my aim..to keep me off the many incidents..

i will be good

Sunday, September 03, 2006 @ 10:54 PM

i dont understand why tings can juz ended like that. does it means a 6mth old rs is nothin compared to ur 3yr old rs? cant u even put in a little effort to talk tings better? to end it with a conclusion? or even TRY? am i so not worth the little bit of effort i beg from you?

who am i to you? til now, i realized. im nothin. im farking gullible.

@ 9:31 PM

was listening to yanzi's 'love can keep us alive' on president star charity.. and tears roll down.. ...

why.. how can people be so strong.. .. why cant i..